Thursday, September 27, 2007


An old friend writes:

"So I went off like a spod to get you a picture of a BC traffic light man.

Walked up to the traffic lights and noticed that in Vancouver - quite possibly THE most politically correct place in the world - our traffic light man actually has mood swings.

At some crosswalks he's all chipper. At other crosswalks, he's not chipper at all. He's downright grumpy. What's that all about? "

(I should point out that this is the friend that I cheerily offered to 'hop on a train' to visit, only to subsequently discover that it takes four days to get from Montreal to Vancouver on a train, if not more. Ah, brave New World!)

Spod then wrote:

"Think I know why he gets miserable. His feet keep falling off."

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


Hippernicus writes from Cornwall:

"Here's an UK traffic light person, whom you have no doubt seen many the likes of in London. But this one does it dreckly, being Cornish."

Tell me, fellow Britishers*: do your local traffic light people look like this? Bit weedy, isn't he?

* A world that only North Americans use. We never do. Similarly, the last time I heard a British person use the word "Bobby" when referring to a member of Her Majesty's Constabulary was ... well, never.


Look at this thing, drawn to my attention by Colonel Knowledge. It is in fact a television commercial for the Snickers bar*, but if you can overlook that bit, the film part of it is quite amusing.

Although not strictly "on brief" (a little bit like the advertisement itself!), it is amusing enough to 'make the grade', as it were. (If you are old, you will not like the music track.)

War Of The Traffic Light Males - Watch more amazing videos here

* We open on an advertising agency. There is a meeting room with glass walls and many drinks on the table. A plate of chocolate biscuits is melting in the afternoon heat. The CLIENT is scratching his crab-infested crotch and looking up the skirt of the ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE, who is pretending to take notes on her laptop whilst updating her profile pictures on Facebook. She lingers too long on the one of her in Ibiza with her baps hanging out.

The ACCOUNT DIRECTOR has been speaking for some three hours. A fly expires. A dog barks in the distance. The JUNIOR CLIENT sticks pins in his eyes.

Ad agency twat: ... so in conclusion, the primary role for our advertising is to communicate the single thought - or 'big idea', if you will! - that Snickers is the snack bar that will keep you going and is, therefore, by implication, 'for people on the move' - defined in your brief as young men, aged 18 - 30, who ...

Client: Has it got shit in it about people moving and that?

Agency twat: Yeah.

Client: Is it on brief?

Agency twat: Sort of. It's a metaphor for ...

Client: ... oh SHUT. UP. What happens in it?

Agency twat: Red traffic light men fight the green ones. Green ones win. We put the Snickers endline on the end, yeah? "Don't Stop"? So in case you haven't "got" from the film that ...

Client:... Yeah I like it. It's good.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Things are hotting up. Entries are flooding in from all over the world, including Australia (although the photograph submitted was taken in Germany). Emma writes:

"The east German socialists, committed as they were to socialist equality insisted on gender equal traffic light people. Since reunification, the east German cities have refused to give up their "ampel frau" and "ampel mann". I took these in Dresden in July."

Readers of my other (lesser!) web-blog may have noticed this link hidden in one of the comments.

Sent by regular reader Johnnyboy (mysterious chap without a blog, but probably quite attractive), it tells you about a terrible copyright battle going on between the person who made up little traffic lady (above) and the person who owns the rights to little traffic man (see below).

Come on people! Send them in!

Monday, September 24, 2007


Pleasingly stout, this traffic light man looks like he's had a right old go on a pint or two of Maple Syrup (aka sweet tree-juice).